What Your Fav App Says About You

What Your Fav App Says About You

We’ve all got an app we doom scroll. 

Facebook for the memes, IG for the unrealistic life, BeReal for the realistic but still slightly posed life and of course Snapchat for the thotty messages. 

But what your fav is may say more about you than you think. 



You’re closer to 40 than you are to 30, you were the most popular girl in school and had 900 friends on the app before you were even 16 which made everyone think you were the ‘it’ girl of the town. 

You have since deleted them - because it's embarrassing - but you used to post a 200+ photo album of your night out and constantly reminisce about the Bebo/MySpace days. 

Getting hundreds of birthday messages posted on your wall was always the highlight of your year and your friends always come to you for gossip because you keep up with the baby/engagement/house purchase announcements. 



You most definitely have filler if not a little bit of botox. Skin care is VERY important to you and if there is one thing you can’t live without it’s your Skims shapewear or Kylie Cosmetics lippy. 

You love to stalk your pals, are always the first to spot someone soft launching a new partner and have posted a “omg so embarrassing that was for my close friends x” story at least twice. 

You have a love-hate relationship with the new Gen Z aesthetic because you grew up in the Shani Grimmond curator era and therefore get called old by your younger, cooler Gen Z cousins. 



TikTok is the app name, doom scrolling is it’s game. You self diagnosed yourself with ADHD, are convinced your soulmate's name starts with B - like the vid told you, and you have a Frank Green emotional support drink bottle. 

Your aesthetic changes from clean girl to club rat depending on the day. Somehow you landed on booktok so you read It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover only to find out it low key sucks. 

Anna Paul is your fav influencer and you’ve learnt at least 4 TikTok dances that you always show off after a couple drinks. 



You think you’re better than everyone who is on instagram but all you’re really feeling is the same sense of joy we had when Snapchat came out. Can’t explain it but it’s the same. 

You live for the 2 minute window of being real and will preach to absolutely anyone about how amazing it is - so much so you may as well be a sales rep for the app. 

It started out as a place for just your closest pals but now you want everyone to see how real you are so you’re adding everyone from your ex to your little sisters friend to that chick you went to high school with and spoke to IRL once. 



You consider having a snap score with your pal is the same as “keeping in touch” and defo keep an eye on your crush's snap score so you know when they are ignoring you. 

You’ve sent a few *tasteful* nudes through the app and have a weird obsession with stalking people on snap maps even if you don’t really care who they are. 

Your snap memories are full of the most feral club rat moments and you have a meltdown every time they show you how skinny you were 4 years ago. 



You’re a business girly that got sick of your Great Aunt Margaret sharing all your FB posts. 

You are dead set on convincing everyone that LinkedIn is the new Facebook and will not hesitate to post even the tiniest career update on your page. 

Likely in your late 20s, you have probably had a huge career change recently and need to promote said career change in a chic professional way. 


- By Lillie Rohan.




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