Sometimes, bedroom encounters with your partner need spicing up, and that's totally normal! It doesn’t mean they’re bland in bed, but getting out of old habits and trying something new can make the experience a bit more exciting and unpredictable. And one way to get things extra hot is by integrating your sex toys into couple play.
While it would be nice if it were as simple as pulling out your trusty Missy clit vibrator mid-bang with your babe and vibing your way to a big O, that’s just not how it’s done. Unfortunately, there can be a stigma that comes with introducing adult vibrators, dildos, butt plugs and all the other sexy accessories into your bedroom activities.
However, this shouldn’t stop you from experiencing heightened pleasure. We’ve put together this guide for adding our female sex toys into your couple’s play without hurting anybody's feelings:
1. Get Chatty
The first step is to lay all your cards on the table by talking about your fantasy of bringing sex toys into the boudoir. Because let's be honest, babe, someone might get a fright if you pull out Dilly the Dildo without any warning.
For some couples, the chat might be as easy as expressing: "I want to use [insert toy]", and them replying with: "same, let's do it." But for others, it might be a little bit awkward, and it could even be a really nerve-wracking experience for you – which is completely valid. So, it's best to have the conversation when you are both happy and relaxed.
Your partner might feel threatened by the notion of using a sex toy or feel they don't satisfy you, so you may need to reassure them and tell them that's not why you want to bring it into the mix. Frame it as more of a request or suggestion rather than an order.
And if you feel really nervous about having the conversation and opening up to your partner about your fantasies and desires, take it slow. Start by letting them know you're curious about toys, and let the conversation naturally flow. You can even incorporate a book about sexual wellness into the conversation and look through it together.
Once you've both agreed to bring toys into the bedroom, it's time to find the most appropriate one you both feel comfortable with. Whether that’s a clit vibrator or a g-spot vibrator is completely up to you – just remember it’s okay to experiment and have fun! And don’t forget to use lots of lube when trying out a new sex toy.
If you already have a toy collection, open up your treasure chest and let your partner get familiar with each toy. Explain what each one does, tell them which one is your favourite and be patient.
You have to introduce toys at your own pace, so the first step could be looking at them and closing the drawer, then coming back to them later. Or, if you’re ready for it, maybe you open the drawer and start playing around with your best vibrators immediately. Just remember, there is no right or wrong way.
If you don't have any toys, this is a great time to get your credit card out and start swiping, baby. Ask your partner to sit down with you and browse our available toys or bundles.
If you don't know a lot about sex toys, it's worth starting small. Missy, a bullet vibrator, or a penis ring are great ones to begin with, but the main thing is to take your time and explore options together.
3. It’s go time
Now that you're both comfortable and have the toy, it's time to have some fun.
Bring the sex toy into your sex session and keep communication open. It might be a little bit awkward the first time as you both figure out how the toy fits into your rhythm, but it doesn't need to be scary and serious.
Have some giggles, keep it lighthearted, and try out different positions until you find one that works for both of you. Remember, you want the toy to be a part of the experience, not the entire focus of your sexy time.
Overall it’s all about having fun, that’s why they’re called toys.